Salt ‘n Pepa were on to something, ladies and gents.
I mean, most responsible [and irresponsible] adults have sex. It’s a primal need to procreate. Everyone does it…right?
The straight up answer is yes…and no.
Why the heck am I mixin’ my sweet-tea sippin’, pasta-makin’, cupcake-bakin’ opinions on this topic in with my normal foodie finds and fit experiences?
Because this year I want to expand my bloggy horizons and discuss all levels of health. Being fit, I feel, means that you are in total homeostasis. Every piece of you, mind – body – soul, has reached a balance. If part of you is whackin’ out, or your two ears o’ corn shy from a whole bushel – well, you need to straighten out that ship and get to your true north.
You may be wondering why I suddenly feel this way.
I don’t suddenly anything.
But I am bringing you in closer to my friendship circle and delving into another level of comfy with you, because I realized that sexual health is a growing concern for many of my friends.
As today is the first of the year and 2014 is no longer “upon us” but rather…HERE, I want to discuss my plans.
While I am ramping up a new semester of teaching, prepping for graduate school and finding new ways to sate my fitness and foodie passions, I stumbled into a wasp nest of problems that several friends of mine are battling. I’m obliviously baking away in my kitchen and these lovely ladies and gentlemen are worried about their significant others who are seriously mistreating them and mangling their affection into twisted perversions of love.
What’s on everyone’s mind?
Quite frankly, I’m no expert. I am however, experienced with (brace yourself) 2 long-term relationships. Again, no expert claims here.
But, don’t shut me out just yet.
I grew up with 3 brothers, strong father figures in my dad, uncles and grandfather, and was raised to know my self worth. Knowing one’s worth, I’ve found, makes it a helluvalot easier to know what to expect from a partner.
What happens when one doesn’t know what they should expect in a relationship though?
A friend of mine is exactly in this situation. She has no freaking clue what she’s worth, but she found a guy who tells her she’s pretty and BAM! She’s his. She pays his bills, buys gifts for his kids, and is impressed by his gentlemanly abilities to have kept his package under wraps for more than three dates.
When did having several baby mama’s, no job, saying please and thank you every so often, calling you “baby” and pinching your derriere in public become the ways of a “gentleman?” I must have missed the damn memo.
In case you didn’t know – let me tell you…THIS IS NOT HEALTHY! And no, you probably shouldn’t be dating the jerk.
A partner should treat you with respect, love, and passion. They should not just be passionate towards you, but about you as well. You should be praised, held, sung to, cooked for, bathed in kisses, etc… and reciprocate these things to your loved one!
It’s not difficult. Express what you need and ask them what they need too!
Asking your SO can be difficult, but your needs are pretty easy to figure out.
Knowing your worth, especially when no one explained this concept to you, is hard to grasp. Basically, you are your own golden rule.
Don’t let others treat you in a manner in which you would not treat yourself. Only you know your limits and feelings. Listen to your heart, as cheesy as this may sound.
You are amazing and highly valued.
Believe me when I tell you that your own brand of scrumptious is a hot commodity. Don’t be plastering that on just anyone’s basic ham and cheese sammich. You need to be delicately slathered onto a slice of panini-pressed sourdough with Gruyere, avocado slices, tomato and roasted turkey breast.
Go find your perfect sammich, instead of settling for the local fuel-station version.
Put yourself out there this year and go after what you want.
You deserve it.
More on sex, food, and love-letters for the beau in your life – all in my next post.