Tag: relationships

Categories
Law School

Dealing with Your Support System in Law School

My grandmother didn’t appreciate my answer when she asked what I would be giving up for Lent.

“My social life.”

I’m pretty sure she was thinking:

slapped

The sunburn I got from her glare was almost enough to shrink a bit. Maybe before law school I would have. Maybe. 

By this point in the semester, you’d think I was comfortable with learning to ignore family and friends in order to make the grade. Constantly running away from family functions, friend hangouts, and bookstores is the worst bit of law school. Before law school, I hosted friends at our home nearly every weekend. The beau and I enjoyed galavanting around the city, trying new restaurants and exploring Dallas every chance we got.

A few weeks into my 1L however, those experiences faded away. I knew it would happen, my professors said it would happen, but I had no idea how angry my support system would get. Truthfully, I thought they would understand . 

It should come as no surprise that being ignored feels bad. Funnily enough, most law students (including myself) don’t realize that our reading for class makes you feel ignored. The fact is – for me, at least – I am doing everything I can to keep my own life in balance.

This week alone is jam-packed with assignments, work, presentations, and a butt-load of reading for class. Now, with the few minutes of free time I was enjoying, I will be working out in order to win my FIT BET. [It’s a competition…so, I plan to crush it!]

But some of my favorite people in the world feel ignored. What can I do?

Not a damn thing.

“This is your time to be selfish.” – UNTDCOL Professor said this to my class during Fundamentals week. It sounds harsh, I know, but those words are what I cling to when someone tries to guilt-trip me into going out for a drink or just lunch. 

When your friends and family ask you why you’re “ignoring them” please feel free to say this:

I wish I could be more lax sometimes, but the reality is that I am working toward earning a degree and I need to bust my butt to earn the grades to accomplish my dream of becoming an attorney.
It’s my job to excel in class and work (clerkship + internship this semester). This is my career. Which begs the question – do I sidetrack you in your career?
I don’t think so. But maybe I should drop by your house unexpectedly, or call and yell at you for forgetting to send you a birthday card,  or invite you to dinner and then text you ten minutes before the meal to say I can’t make it. 

[The advice I have for my wonderful family and friends is] – learn to deal with me not being around all the time. I miss you too. I miss being able to just jump in your car and head out on an adventure. I miss impromptu travel plans, late nights laughing and early work days. I miss movie nights and wine nights. I miss it all. I miss you. 

But right now it’s about me. Not you. I have goals and dreams and hopes for my career. Right now I need you to be strong, for me, because sometimes my want to push an assignment aside outweighs my want to actually complete it. Sometimes, I find myself wondering if law school is worth the struggle. And if you find me in a weak moment, I need your help to drag me back to my desk and tell me to get to work. 

I need your support, but if you feel like my attending law school is too much for you to handle – then maybe this is where our paths diverge. I plan on becoming an attorney and I wish you all the best. 

mic drop

 

Succeeding in law school is all about balancing your life. Do what makes you happy, but make sure not to let anyone mess with that happiness.

Categories
Daily Dose

Let’s Talk About Sex

…Baby!

Salt ‘n Pepa were on to something, ladies and gents.
I mean, most responsible [and irresponsible] adults have sex. It’s a primal need to procreate. Everyone does it…right?

Image
Copyright WB, Gilmore Girls

The straight up answer is yes…and no.

Why the heck am I mixin’ my sweet-tea sippin’, pasta-makin’, cupcake-bakin’ opinions on this topic in with my normal foodie finds and fit experiences?
Because this year I want to expand my bloggy horizons and discuss all levels of health. Being fit, I feel, means that you are in total homeostasis. Every piece of you, mind – body – soul, has reached a balance. If part of you is whackin’ out, or your two ears o’ corn shy from a whole bushel – well, you need to straighten out that ship and get to your true north.

Image
Copyright, Charles Schultz – Peanuts Comic.

You may be wondering why I suddenly feel this way.
I don’t suddenly anything.
But I am bringing you in closer to my friendship circle and delving into another level of comfy with you, because I realized that sexual health is a growing concern for many of my friends.

As today is the first of the year and 2014 is no longer “upon us” but rather…HERE, I want to discuss my plans.
While I am ramping up a new semester of teaching, prepping for graduate school and finding new ways to sate my fitness and foodie passions, I stumbled into a wasp nest of problems that several friends of mine are battling. I’m obliviously baking away in my kitchen and these lovely ladies and gentlemen are worried about their significant others who are seriously mistreating them and mangling their affection into twisted perversions of love.

What’s on everyone’s mind?

RELATIONSHIPS

Quite frankly, I’m no expert. I am however, experienced with (brace yourself) 2 long-term relationships. Again, no expert claims here.
But, don’t shut me out just yet.

I grew up with 3 brothers, strong father figures in my dad, uncles and grandfather, and was raised to know my self worth. Knowing one’s worth, I’ve found, makes it a helluvalot easier to know what to expect from a partner.

What happens when one doesn’t know what they should expect in a relationship though?

A friend of mine is exactly in this situation. She has no freaking clue what she’s worth, but she found a guy who tells her she’s pretty and BAM! She’s his. She pays his bills, buys gifts for his kids, and is impressed by his gentlemanly abilities to have kept his package under wraps for more than three dates.

When did having several baby mama’s, no job, saying please and thank you every so often, calling you “baby” and pinching your derriere in public become the ways of a “gentleman?” I must have missed the damn memo.

In case you didn’t know – let me tell you…THIS IS NOT HEALTHY! And no, you probably shouldn’t be dating the jerk.

Take a note from Fat Patricia – you don’t need to try every guy or girl. Make good choices. Copyright – Universal Studios

 

A partner should treat you with respect, love, and passion. They should not just be passionate towards you, but about you as well. You should be praised, held, sung to, cooked for, bathed in kisses, etc… and reciprocate these things to your loved one!
It’s not difficult. Express what you need and ask them what they need too!

Asking your SO can be difficult, but your needs are pretty easy to figure out.
Knowing your worth, especially when no one explained this concept to you, is hard to grasp. Basically, you are your own golden rule.
Don’t let others treat you in a manner in which you would not treat yourself. Only you know your limits and feelings. Listen to your heart, as cheesy as this may sound.
You are amazing and highly valued.
Believe me when I tell you that your own brand of scrumptious is a hot commodity. Don’t be plastering that on just anyone’s basic ham and cheese sammich. You need to be delicately slathered onto a slice of panini-pressed sourdough with Gruyere, avocado slices, tomato and roasted turkey breast.
Go find your perfect sammich, instead of settling for the local fuel-station version.

Put yourself out there this year and go after what you want.
You deserve it.

Wait for the one. Your one. If you can.
I promise you, chivalry still exists.
Oh, good guys don’t finish last either.

More on sex, food, and love-letters for the beau in your life – all in my next post.
Much love,
CC