Tag: love

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Love & Law School

Friendships are incredibly important to your life balance and ultimate happiness. This notion is even more crucial in school and, in my honest opinion, more-so in graduate school – where you’re testing the very limits of your own capacity to achieve and persevere. [Translation: Law school is hard, yo.]

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Law school is an institution that can cultivate deep, long-lasting relationships; law school will break you down. Everyone gets brain fatigue. Everyone needs to vent. Everyone struggles.

And that is perfectly alright.
The struggle is what makes the reward sweeter. Those gold Bar cards are the light at the end of the tunnel. But, I’ll be blunt – you simply cannot get there on your own.

Best friends are hard to find. When you do find them, hold on tight.

As an example – 2 of my dear friends, both who I met in law school, will be my bridesmaids. They are just as important as the amazing friends I met in high school, at Baylor, or while teaching. The people you mesh with are simply good for your soul. Once you find someone that speaks directly to who you are, I believe it is your solemn responsibility to keep them and be their friend. Build each other up!

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It may seem cheesy, but I do my best to breathe positivity into damn near everyone, in every situation. That said, sometimes my friends [and yours] need a boost in confidence, an extra hug, a few kinds words – do whatever you can to make them feel amazing and brilliant.

Why?

Friends are worth the effort, y’all. You will need each other to lean on, especially during those crazy late-nights, while stuck frantically reading through your Wills, or Family Law, or Property Outlines because you have an exam the next morning and are ::completely:: freaking out! You’re going to want to call someone who (is also awake at 3am) needs to take a break and discuss the finer points of Bridezillas or Housewives of L.A. – trust me, you need those peeps. I damn sure know I need mine. They’re amazing men and women who lift me up when I need it, and knock me down a few pegs when I need that too.

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Cherish every moment you spend with these wonderful people. Hug them, hard. Love them forever. They will get you through your crap-tastic days, and be there for you during finals season, when you’ve studied so long you can’t remember how to get home. [Seriously, those moments have happened]

I guess what I’m trying to say is – don’t forget about your friends! Law school is rough, but its even harder to walk those struggles without helping hands. My besties are fantastic, and I make sure to let them know it, often.

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Happy Valentine’s Day, my lovelies!

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3 Tips for Keeping Your Relationship Afloat In Law School

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In case you don’t already know – Law School is difficult. It’s an experience no one can understand until they’ve been through it. Yeah, you’ve heard that before – but it’s completely true. I feel that in order to get past the crappy parts, you need to pick a point in your near-future and focus on it like your entire life depends on getting there. If I break my concentration, letting other minutiae get in the way, then I not only derailed myself, but I get too lax with my thinking. It’s important to remember: the goal comes first.

The problem with that thought though? My goals are not wholly my own.
My entire being revolves around the existence of my other half. If I forget that he is part of my goals, then my anchor is missing. That just will not do. 

Before beginning my legal education, I met with multiple professors (and Deans even) – all of whom said something about how relationships fail, in fact, “it’s expected!” Many of them had a horror story or two tell me about their own romances; each one left me more bummed than the last.

It didn’t help that we were required to read “1L of a Ride.”
No siree, that little gem only made me feel worse about beginning my legal education.
As midterms are fast approaching, I felt it prudent to dish out a few ways the Beau and I make our relationship work because, let’s face it – there will be no cooking, cleaning, organizing, or much talking from me for the next two weeks. Lord knows you’re going through this too, which means you may need to pass this to your significant other so they can get a glimpse of the madness that goes on in the mind of a law student. Or, you know, so they can see they’re not the only one being neglected…

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  1. We work to make each other laugh. He’s an engineer and I’m in law school – which means that we have healthy debates about everything from furry socks to download internet policy law (seriously). But, in between the long talks and coffee runs, he makes me laugh! The deep down, belly-ache type of laughter that brings tears and snorts to my daily life. By comparison, he might catch me talking to the vegetables or dancing with chicken in the kitchen (yeah, I have some flair).
  2. Set time aside for the people you love. I plan my life around campus activities, meetings, classes, and study time – but there’s also brunch, coffee runs, and gym time! I’ve said this multiple times….ORGANIZE your LIFE!
    Sure, adding calendar events may seem tedious, but having the reminders to work on assignments (or even to eat lunch) are crucial to acing your legal education. As an added bonus, your family will appreciate the time you make for them in your crazy-hectic law school soap-opera lifestyle.blogcalendar
  3. This last one is the most important. You need to remember that even though your end goal is to become a badass attorney, you also need to make time to build yourself up. It is necessary for you to carve a few minutes out of your week to do something that makes you insanely happy. My happy place? Anywhere, surrounded by books.
    No, I don’t lurk around our law library (okay…sometimes). I enjoy walking around Half-Price books, Barnes and Noble, or even the local Dallas Public libraries. My heart feels happier when surrounded by the magical tales and giant encyclopedias.
    You need to find your happy place. Make time to focus on yourself, for a few minutes a week. The reason this helps (your relationship and your studies) is because by focusing on what makes you happy – you are physically and emotionally re-centering your life. Balance is a key to any major endeavor; in law school, you need it in spades.

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Now go out there and be amazing.

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Dating Advice

 

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Oooh, the good stuff. 

 

Get comfy. Here’s the secret – Put yourself out there!
It’s frustrating to hear that a woman is “waiting for the right guy.”
Let me tell you what…THE PERFECT MAN DOES NOT EXIST! [neither does the perfect woman]

I’m not sure which fairytale, Disney movie, or romance novel you read, but this perfect guy or girl is a figment of your imagination, trapped within the pages of your newest page-turner. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of wonderful people out there, but not one of them is perfect. Each of our ideas about perfection is different, and it is imperative that you figure out what you find “perfect.”

As for me?

This is my short list:
– He makes me laugh, even when I don’t want to crack a smile.
– He has a good job, and motivated to do better for himself.

That’s it. 

Everything else takes time to build upon.
The beau didn’t know everything about me when we started dating. He became one of my best friends, which made me fall deeper in love.
Finding the right person for you is more-so finding a good person, then allowing your relationship to grow.

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Don’t ever forget this.

Now, my beau occasionally brings home flowers – but a slice of chocolate cake and 2 forks is better. He knows which playlist I’d like to hear, depending on my mood. He knows that at the end of a stressful day, I prefer a five-mile run and a ten minute shower. No bath bombs, no fruity bath smells, no pedicures. Gritty pavement and a long time with my own thoughts. He runs with me, even though it’s not his favorite pastime.
I know that he loves spicy salsa, so I learned to make it – just the way his mom does. I learned that he will try anything I make, but he’ll always give me his honest opinion. I know he prefers to relax by playing computer games, so I give him his own space [and try to learn one, now and then].

You become what the other needs. You work together. It takes time. You’d be hard-pressed to find a relationship that burst into a story-book romance and remained that way.

 

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Maybe…but chocolate-laced kisses taste better.

I tell him everything, because there’s no point in holding anything back. We’ve had some colossal arguments, but always come back together after a while.
No relationship is going to start with a bang and keep on going. Our lives are not a romance novel. Life is messy.
My advice to you is – stop making things so complex. Stop forcing a relationship to fit into your idea of perfection.
Love has to bloom; it’s born in the laughter you share with someone who makes your heart dance.

Love is not lust, don’t confuse the two. Lust is the deep-belly ache you get when you see someone for the first time and feel like your entire world just set on fire. It’s flames only that one person can bring to a bitter cold.
Lust ends in heartbreak, because it feels like you’re writing a brilliant novel, only you end up with a sketchy supermarket tabloid.
Stop looking for the jerks, the one-night stands, or the fixer upper.

Open your eyes to everyone and start seeing people for all the characteristics which make them amazing. Trust me, you’ll see one of these qualities and it will light a conversation.

Let yourself go where the conversation takes you. Be awesome, be you.

 

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Much love,
CerebellumChef

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Dear Jerkwad, We Loathe You.

Valentine’s Day makes people do weird things (or insanely hurtful ones).
So I’m told.

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A girl can dream, right?

I think this is a feeble excuse for jerks, arses, cheaters, players (…I could go on, but why give them more airtime?) to break hearts all over the darn place.
I do not discriminate here. There are plenty of horrid people out there, men & women alike. Unfortunately, I know one of these dastardly persons and am so disappointed in their actions this lovely weekend.

Why waste time on someone who treats you badly?
Why waste time on someone who treats you badly?

 

Love is cruel. Sometimes it just pounds us to a pulp and spits us out.
Then we find someone we think we love and put our heart through the cheese grater all over again. It’s a psychotic process, really.
But, we all seek out love. I wish it could be wonderful and beautiful for everyone. But what can I say?

Who wouldn't love a guy with a library like his?
Who wouldn’t love a guy with a library like his?
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Perfectly cute.

Disney ruined us all.

I truly hope your weekend was full of yummy dishes and tons of kisses, but if your V-day weekend got squished by a less-than-lovely character, ditch ’em!
Move on to happier things and spend some time on yourself. Instead of wallowing in the crux of heartache, toast some champagne and delve into those leftover chocolate boxes (now 50% off, and still scrumptious…maybe even better at a discount)!

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Of course it does.

 

As for me, tonight I’m baking an apple pie and putting in some much-needed kitchen time. I’ll be sure to post the delicious recipe soon!

Much love,
CerebellumChef

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Daily Dose

Let’s Talk About Sex

…Baby!

Salt ‘n Pepa were on to something, ladies and gents.
I mean, most responsible [and irresponsible] adults have sex. It’s a primal need to procreate. Everyone does it…right?

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Copyright WB, Gilmore Girls

The straight up answer is yes…and no.

Why the heck am I mixin’ my sweet-tea sippin’, pasta-makin’, cupcake-bakin’ opinions on this topic in with my normal foodie finds and fit experiences?
Because this year I want to expand my bloggy horizons and discuss all levels of health. Being fit, I feel, means that you are in total homeostasis. Every piece of you, mind – body – soul, has reached a balance. If part of you is whackin’ out, or your two ears o’ corn shy from a whole bushel – well, you need to straighten out that ship and get to your true north.

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Copyright, Charles Schultz – Peanuts Comic.

You may be wondering why I suddenly feel this way.
I don’t suddenly anything.
But I am bringing you in closer to my friendship circle and delving into another level of comfy with you, because I realized that sexual health is a growing concern for many of my friends.

As today is the first of the year and 2014 is no longer “upon us” but rather…HERE, I want to discuss my plans.
While I am ramping up a new semester of teaching, prepping for graduate school and finding new ways to sate my fitness and foodie passions, I stumbled into a wasp nest of problems that several friends of mine are battling. I’m obliviously baking away in my kitchen and these lovely ladies and gentlemen are worried about their significant others who are seriously mistreating them and mangling their affection into twisted perversions of love.

What’s on everyone’s mind?

RELATIONSHIPS

Quite frankly, I’m no expert. I am however, experienced with (brace yourself) 2 long-term relationships. Again, no expert claims here.
But, don’t shut me out just yet.

I grew up with 3 brothers, strong father figures in my dad, uncles and grandfather, and was raised to know my self worth. Knowing one’s worth, I’ve found, makes it a helluvalot easier to know what to expect from a partner.

What happens when one doesn’t know what they should expect in a relationship though?

A friend of mine is exactly in this situation. She has no freaking clue what she’s worth, but she found a guy who tells her she’s pretty and BAM! She’s his. She pays his bills, buys gifts for his kids, and is impressed by his gentlemanly abilities to have kept his package under wraps for more than three dates.

When did having several baby mama’s, no job, saying please and thank you every so often, calling you “baby” and pinching your derriere in public become the ways of a “gentleman?” I must have missed the damn memo.

In case you didn’t know – let me tell you…THIS IS NOT HEALTHY! And no, you probably shouldn’t be dating the jerk.

Take a note from Fat Patricia – you don’t need to try every guy or girl. Make good choices. Copyright – Universal Studios

 

A partner should treat you with respect, love, and passion. They should not just be passionate towards you, but about you as well. You should be praised, held, sung to, cooked for, bathed in kisses, etc… and reciprocate these things to your loved one!
It’s not difficult. Express what you need and ask them what they need too!

Asking your SO can be difficult, but your needs are pretty easy to figure out.
Knowing your worth, especially when no one explained this concept to you, is hard to grasp. Basically, you are your own golden rule.
Don’t let others treat you in a manner in which you would not treat yourself. Only you know your limits and feelings. Listen to your heart, as cheesy as this may sound.
You are amazing and highly valued.
Believe me when I tell you that your own brand of scrumptious is a hot commodity. Don’t be plastering that on just anyone’s basic ham and cheese sammich. You need to be delicately slathered onto a slice of panini-pressed sourdough with Gruyere, avocado slices, tomato and roasted turkey breast.
Go find your perfect sammich, instead of settling for the local fuel-station version.

Put yourself out there this year and go after what you want.
You deserve it.

Wait for the one. Your one. If you can.
I promise you, chivalry still exists.
Oh, good guys don’t finish last either.

More on sex, food, and love-letters for the beau in your life – all in my next post.
Much love,
CC

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Daily Dose

PSA for your Sexy Self!

Hi ya’ll!

It’s Christmas Eve! I’m spending my much-needed family time in the deep south. Tejas! 
Growing up in such a rich (literally) Hispanic-centered foodie capital has had its thumbs ups and downs.
For example, it took going to college (and living alone!) to realize the meaning of portion control.
In a family of 6, with 4 men, making calabaza con pollo for anything less than 10 people was considered a joke (and still is).

Honestly, Paula Deen could sit and take notes from my grandmother on the proper uses of various lards, fats and butters. At least, she could have – before grandma jumped on my healthy train (and the doctor’s orders set in).

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Because, butter is everything, ya’ll!


We, as a culture (and I truly hope you don’t find this offensive or rude – it’s matter of opinion but usually a rule) loooooove our fats.
Making tamales?  NEED LARD. If you didn’t know – that’s why they’re so delicious. Oh, and they get a sprinkle of magic, too.
Calabaza con Pollo? Extra oil, please.
Wedding cookies? Lard AND Butter. Double check, check!

According to the Office of Minority Health, Hispanics are almost twice as likely to develop diabetes over the non-Hispanic communities. The CDC reports that over a third of the Latinos surveyed have high blood pressure and are not treating it.

Why the hell not, right?

Because we, as a population, tend to fore-go doctor’s office visits when informed of a possible health threat. That is…if a Hispanic bothers to get to a physician in time to be diagnosed and receive treatment.

So you see, attending college was a huge step forward for me – both educationally and health-wise.
I needed to get away to learn how not to feed my body.

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Oh Demi….

Don’t start hating on me right away.
I am a devout foodie and realized (almost instantly) that I simply couldn’t function without my favorite foods from home.
Step one  – learn how to fix recipes for a single person.
Step two – don’t revert to cooking for a family of 6 and think “It’s ok, I’ll keep it for leftovers.”
NO!
Leftovers with gigantonormous portions are such a terrible idea! Self-control has left the building.

Thankfully, I finally figured out portions and working out. It took a long damn time – but I figured it out. The boyfran and I  fell into step with fitness and are loving it. [sidenote: he’s out cycling right now while I post this…laaaazy Sarah]

Collectively, we have lost 60 pounds in the past 7 months. Between rock climbing, running and the occasional What-a-Burger (just about the best burger you’ll ever have) – we are fittin’ it!

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Christmas 2013 Portraits!
60 pounds slimmer.

With all this fitness going on, we can come home for the holidays and realize that [despite the fact I purposefully do not own a 20 qt pot so I do not “decide” to make tamales for the pair of us] we do not need to inhale every ounce of food placed in front of us. Honestly, that’s how he gained 50 and I gained 35 pounds the first summer back from our freshman year. Oh, hell yes we did! And, it’s horrifying to look back on those pictures.

We come home, eat a few faves and then make sure to go for a run or simply maintain our jean size. It’s too much hassle to worry about calories while we’re here in South Texas. In fact, it’s damn near impossible.
One tamale contains the same (if not more) calories than a McDonald’s Big Mac. How gross is that?

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Check out Peck’s Pieces!

Instead…we eat what we want and hit the gym. Don’t see this as a reward system though! I fell into this trap once and the beau had to drag me the hell outta there!
Don’t tell yourself, “Oh, I can eat this fattening piece of scrumptiousness because I ran five miles.”
Eating it just threw your workout into wonk-mode and now you have to work out again.
No! You are not a dog. Eat to be fit, not fat.
Eating to support your foodie habit is one thing (because it’s in moderation and balanced), but eating to support donuts and heavy cream with a side of lard – not so smart. You could be a fitness freak with clogged arteries and simply drop dead, mid-run.
Be smart about the choices for your body. I promise, you’ll be happier (and healthier) for it.
Go enjoy your roast beast at your Christmas feast!

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Chuck Jones, 1966

Tonight’s post will be all about the yummy foodles and antics that go on in our household. Family time is always an adventure, especially around the holidays. We’ve got screaming aunts, menudo pots on the floor, recipe-flinging and baking cakes without getting tripe in them.
All in a day’s work, while on vacation.
You’re gonna love it!

Much love,
CerebellumChef

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Enjoy your holiday!

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Icepocalypse…? Not So much.

Friday Morning Icecapades
Friday Morning Icecapades

The icemageddon hit Dallas on Thursday night. Sufficed to say, we had a four day weekend. Well…I did. The beau had to work Monday because the roads were better. Our school district (and every other one within a 30 mile radius) opted to stay toasty and at home on Monday.
Brilliant!

I should have graded papers. Meh.Maybe I should have worked on my final exam for next week…erm, no.

What did I do?

I worked out (seriously). And…we made mimosas.
That’s right. My family’s classy.
Then somewhere in-between, we slid to Starbucks and had disgusting soy gingerbread lattes, bu enjoyed each other’s company, managed to meet Mom for our posted Sunday Brunch and spent the lazy time cuddling because we had power, but some dolt ran into a pole – effectively ending our spree with awesome cable time.

Our weekend, in pictures:

We realized (at 8am, in way below-freezing temps) that the Beau's truck might not have anti-freeze in it...
We realized (at 8am, in way below-freezing temps) that the Beau’s truck might not have anti-freeze in it…

We opted to warm up the truck, thaw off some ice and laugh at the ridiculous thought of walking to Target to grab ingredients for stew. Because, you know – I would totes be up for that adventure!

And…so was HE!

It was beautiful, but oh so dangerous ICE!
It was beautiful, but oh so dangerous ICE! Also…I look like a goober.

while at Target I had a particularly hysterical discussion with my Mother, who demanded spirits to keep warm. I seem to get my theatrical flair directly from her.
Hence…Mimosas! with our brunch.

Last minute, unexpected, and pretty darn tasty! Mmm!
Last minute, unexpected, and pretty darn tasty! Mmm!

 

We stayed tucked away in our apartment hidey-hole, went for some laps at our gym (on-site, soooo thankful!) on Friday and Saturday. We even ordered Thai food! Let’s just be glad these guys braved the roads. They were pretty terrible.

Our Sunday proved much more adventurous. We went to Breadwinners!

A beer for the beau and a Mexican hot chocolate for moi!
A beer for the beau and a Mexican hot chocolate for moi! It was brunch, afterall…

 

Testing the cinnamony waters...
Testing the cinnamony waters…
CHOMP!
CHOMP!
It was amazing. And, our appetizer because Mom was running late. :|
It was amazing. And, our appetizer because Mom was running late. 😐

 

Our foodles were delectable. I could only eat half my plate, so we may just share next time.

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NOMS!
MOM's plate.
MOM’s plate. Fork, at the ready!

 

the beau's yumminess
the beau’s yumminess – check out that pork belly!

Everything was wondermous and hit the spot, perfectly! Sigh…
On our way out, I spotted this little guy.

Devil Ingluconate!
Devil Ingluconate!

I was so full (and would have felt terrible) – leaving him behind was the best option. My jeans thanked me for it, later. Though Krispy Kreme has haunted me with their damn red light as of late. I swear! It’s always ON!

Gah. It was soooo great to have some time off to enjoy life. Don’t you just love those days?
We’ve got a little over one week left of classes and then my kiddos are off (as am I) to enjoy the winter break.
I’m loving every minute of this winter.

How about you?
What yumminess have you come across lately?
Most importantly, what Christmas party attire have you decided to don?

Moi?

Red Lace, frouffy sleeves and black pumps.
I’m gonna ROCK it!

 

Much love, CerebellumChef

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Besties

Besties

My bestie’s birthday was yesterday. Even though we’re far apart, she means the world to me. We’ve been there for each other, through ups and downs, great laughs and awful cries. She’s the reason I blog and the all-natural jam to my sun-butter. My world wouldn’t spin quite the same if she weren’t in it. I love you bundles, bunny-boo and truly hope that your day was nothing less-than spectacular.
All my lurve,
CC