Dating Advice

 

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Oooh, the good stuff. 

 

Get comfy. Here’s the secret – Put yourself out there!
It’s frustrating to hear that a woman is “waiting for the right guy.”
Let me tell you what…THE PERFECT MAN DOES NOT EXIST! [neither does the perfect woman]

I’m not sure which fairytale, Disney movie, or romance novel you read, but this perfect guy or girl is a figment of your imagination, trapped within the pages of your newest page-turner. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of wonderful people out there, but not one of them is perfect. Each of our ideas about perfection is different, and it is imperative that you figure out what you find “perfect.”

As for me?

This is my short list:
– He makes me laugh, even when I don’t want to crack a smile.
– He has a good job, and motivated to do better for himself.

That’s it. 

Everything else takes time to build upon.
The beau didn’t know everything about me when we started dating. He became one of my best friends, which made me fall deeper in love.
Finding the right person for you is more-so finding a good person, then allowing your relationship to grow.

deserve

Don’t ever forget this.

Now, my beau occasionally brings home flowers – but a slice of chocolate cake and 2 forks is better. He knows which playlist I’d like to hear, depending on my mood. He knows that at the end of a stressful day, I prefer a five-mile run and a ten minute shower. No bath bombs, no fruity bath smells, no pedicures. Gritty pavement and a long time with my own thoughts. He runs with me, even though it’s not his favorite pastime.
I know that he loves spicy salsa, so I learned to make it – just the way his mom does. I learned that he will try anything I make, but he’ll always give me his honest opinion. I know he prefers to relax by playing computer games, so I give him his own space [and try to learn one, now and then].

You become what the other needs. You work together. It takes time. You’d be hard-pressed to find a relationship that burst into a story-book romance and remained that way.

 

love

Maybe…but chocolate-laced kisses taste better.

I tell him everything, because there’s no point in holding anything back. We’ve had some colossal arguments, but always come back together after a while.
No relationship is going to start with a bang and keep on going. Our lives are not a romance novel. Life is messy.
My advice to you is – stop making things so complex. Stop forcing a relationship to fit into your idea of perfection.
Love has to bloom; it’s born in the laughter you share with someone who makes your heart dance.

Love is not lust, don’t confuse the two. Lust is the deep-belly ache you get when you see someone for the first time and feel like your entire world just set on fire. It’s flames only that one person can bring to a bitter cold.
Lust ends in heartbreak, because it feels like you’re writing a brilliant novel, only you end up with a sketchy supermarket tabloid.
Stop looking for the jerks, the one-night stands, or the fixer upper.

Open your eyes to everyone and start seeing people for all the characteristics which make them amazing. Trust me, you’ll see one of these qualities and it will light a conversation.

Let yourself go where the conversation takes you. Be awesome, be you.

 

barneyfive

Much love,
CerebellumChef

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