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Daily Dose

3 Tips for Keeping Your Relationship Afloat In Law School

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In case you don’t already know – Law School is difficult. It’s an experience no one can understand until they’ve been through it. Yeah, you’ve heard that before – but it’s completely true. I feel that in order to get past the crappy parts, you need to pick a point in your near-future and focus on it like your entire life depends on getting there. If I break my concentration, letting other minutiae get in the way, then I not only derailed myself, but I get too lax with my thinking. It’s important to remember: the goal comes first.

The problem with that thought though? My goals are not wholly my own.
My entire being revolves around the existence of my other half. If I forget that he is part of my goals, then my anchor is missing. That just will not do. 

Before beginning my legal education, I met with multiple professors (and Deans even) – all of whom said something about how relationships fail, in fact, “it’s expected!” Many of them had a horror story or two tell me about their own romances; each one left me more bummed than the last.

It didn’t help that we were required to read “1L of a Ride.”
No siree, that little gem only made me feel worse about beginning my legal education.
As midterms are fast approaching, I felt it prudent to dish out a few ways the Beau and I make our relationship work because, let’s face it – there will be no cooking, cleaning, organizing, or much talking from me for the next two weeks. Lord knows you’re going through this too, which means you may need to pass this to your significant other so they can get a glimpse of the madness that goes on in the mind of a law student. Or, you know, so they can see they’re not the only one being neglected

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  1. We work to make each other laugh. He’s an engineer and I’m in law school – which means that we have healthy debates about everything from furry socks to download internet policy law (seriously). But, in between the long talks and coffee runs, he makes me laugh! The deep down, belly-ache type of laughter that brings tears and snorts to my daily life. By comparison, he might catch me talking to the vegetables or dancing with chicken in the kitchen (yeah, I have some flair).
  2. Set time aside for the people you love. I plan my life around campus activities, meetings, classes, and study time – but there’s also brunch, coffee runs, and gym time! I’ve said this multiple times….ORGANIZE your LIFE!
    Sure, adding calendar events may seem tedious, but having the reminders to work on assignments (or even to eat lunch) are crucial to acing your legal education. As an added bonus, your family will appreciate the time you make for them in your crazy-hectic law school soap-opera lifestyle.blogcalendar
  3. This last one is the most important. You need to remember that even though your end goal is to become a badass attorney, you also need to make time to build yourself up. It is necessary for you to carve a few minutes out of your week to do something that makes you insanely happy. My happy place? Anywhere, surrounded by books.
    No, I don’t lurk around our law library (okay…sometimes). I enjoy walking around Half-Price books, Barnes and Noble, or even the local Dallas Public libraries. My heart feels happier when surrounded by the magical tales and giant encyclopedias.
    You need to find your happy place. Make time to focus on yourself, for a few minutes a week. The reason this helps (your relationship and your studies) is because by focusing on what makes you happy – you are physically and emotionally re-centering your life. Balance is a key to any major endeavor; in law school, you need it in spades.

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Now go out there and be amazing.

Categories
Daily Dose

Dating Advice

 

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Oooh, the good stuff. 

 

Get comfy. Here’s the secret – Put yourself out there!
It’s frustrating to hear that a woman is “waiting for the right guy.”
Let me tell you what…THE PERFECT MAN DOES NOT EXIST! [neither does the perfect woman]

I’m not sure which fairytale, Disney movie, or romance novel you read, but this perfect guy or girl is a figment of your imagination, trapped within the pages of your newest page-turner. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of wonderful people out there, but not one of them is perfect. Each of our ideas about perfection is different, and it is imperative that you figure out what you find “perfect.”

As for me?

This is my short list:
– He makes me laugh, even when I don’t want to crack a smile.
– He has a good job, and motivated to do better for himself.

That’s it. 

Everything else takes time to build upon.
The beau didn’t know everything about me when we started dating. He became one of my best friends, which made me fall deeper in love.
Finding the right person for you is more-so finding a good person, then allowing your relationship to grow.

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Don’t ever forget this.

Now, my beau occasionally brings home flowers – but a slice of chocolate cake and 2 forks is better. He knows which playlist I’d like to hear, depending on my mood. He knows that at the end of a stressful day, I prefer a five-mile run and a ten minute shower. No bath bombs, no fruity bath smells, no pedicures. Gritty pavement and a long time with my own thoughts. He runs with me, even though it’s not his favorite pastime.
I know that he loves spicy salsa, so I learned to make it – just the way his mom does. I learned that he will try anything I make, but he’ll always give me his honest opinion. I know he prefers to relax by playing computer games, so I give him his own space [and try to learn one, now and then].

You become what the other needs. You work together. It takes time. You’d be hard-pressed to find a relationship that burst into a story-book romance and remained that way.

 

love
Maybe…but chocolate-laced kisses taste better.

I tell him everything, because there’s no point in holding anything back. We’ve had some colossal arguments, but always come back together after a while.
No relationship is going to start with a bang and keep on going. Our lives are not a romance novel. Life is messy.
My advice to you is – stop making things so complex. Stop forcing a relationship to fit into your idea of perfection.
Love has to bloom; it’s born in the laughter you share with someone who makes your heart dance.

Love is not lust, don’t confuse the two. Lust is the deep-belly ache you get when you see someone for the first time and feel like your entire world just set on fire. It’s flames only that one person can bring to a bitter cold.
Lust ends in heartbreak, because it feels like you’re writing a brilliant novel, only you end up with a sketchy supermarket tabloid.
Stop looking for the jerks, the one-night stands, or the fixer upper.

Open your eyes to everyone and start seeing people for all the characteristics which make them amazing. Trust me, you’ll see one of these qualities and it will light a conversation.

Let yourself go where the conversation takes you. Be awesome, be you.

 

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Much love,
CerebellumChef