Category: Advice

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Advice Daily Dose Law School

Learning From Failure: Finally Passing The Bar Exam

Sitting for one bar exam is daunting. Having to work, deal with family issues, and sit through more than one bar exam is beyond brutal. In fact, this entire experience should be added to Dante’s rings.

I sat for the Texas Bar exam 3 times and, before you read any further, let me be very clear: this is my own experience. I’m telling you what I went through and how I overcame it in the hopes that one of you wonderful examinees will make use of this information and ace your own exam. This is not a playbook to get you to pass, it’s merely an account of what I overcame (and what so many of us share) to accomplish this amazing dream.

Failing the exam doesn’t mean you’re going to be a crappy lawyer. It’s not a good measure of what kind of practitioner you’ll be at all. Why? Because the Bar exam doesn’t (and cannot) test your ability to practice the law. Instead, it’s a measure of your competency and understanding of a wide breadth of law. If you failed, pull yourself up and right the ship. Don’t keep dwelling on the failure and wallowing but, by all means, use the setback as ammunition to propel you forward on this journey. You’ll get through this. If you haven’t sat for the exam yet, and are looking for tips, I highly recommend using a few of my own.

After graduating in May of 2019, I immediately started looking for a post-bar position. I was not in the financial state to simply take the bar and then let the chips fall where they may. Landing the job of a lifetime is a major reason for why I had the luxury of sitting for the exam again after missing it by about 3% the first time. [Yeah, I said luxury. The Bar exam is a gate keeper and not a true measure of competency. We all know this, but rarely talk about it. Having the means to pay for a prep course and exam supplements, take time off from work to study, and have the bills paid is nothing short of a luxury.]

Here’s the list of what I changed about my study plan and techniques to give myself every advantage to ace the Bar exam.

Analyze The Scores.

Knowing where I faltered was crucial to my progress. Determining which areas needed more dedication was imperative. I took the time to create an excel spreadsheet with my scores broken down into each subcategory for the exam. This extra step worked wonders when picking apart the subtopics for my own review and Bar prep.

I scored abysmally low on the Property and Evidence sections of the MBE. It was bleak, y’all. As one clerking for an expert real estate attorney, this was a specific slap to my ego and I made sure to deep-dive into these subjects first to work on learning the black letter law. What I’d done wrong, in my opinion, was flying through these questions and thinking in terms of what my boss would do with a client in that situation. But, what we do in practice is not necessarily what the NCBE is questioning. Instead, I needed to take a step back and look the question objectively, recognizing the point of law being tested, and then answering the question. What we end up practicing is not a perfect world scenario. If we honestly tried, each of us could make some sort of argument for each answer on the multiple choice questions. However, that’s not the point of the exam. The point is to read efficiently and answer proficiently; no more, no less.

When combining the score report analysis with my Adaptibar practice exam (cold-turkey 100 questions), it was surprising to see the correlation. In the plainest language possible: I was “doing too much” when I should have slowed my roll and answered the damn question.

Create YOUR Study Plan.

Studying during a pandemic was rough. Worrying about the Board of Law Examiners meetings and whether or not they were going to change the content (which happened), the date of the exam (yep, also happened), and the type (again, yes — this changed, too) took up more of my headspace than I care to admit. Since I’m a type-A creature with the need to assert control over virtually everything, the easiest way for me to handle my study time was to create a study plan.

I think I should also mention that, in addition to dealing with the pandemic, student loan deferment requests, and losing both of my grandparents in a matter of months, my husband and I also found out we (mostly me) were expecting our first kiddo in January. Studying while pregnant? Extra fun.

With the difficulties of nailing down time to study, working in doctor’s visits and pregnancy naps [yeah, those were unexpected and non-negotiable], especially with the change of dates and my hectic work schedule, I decided on a six week timeline. Making the plan was step one. Executing it and working through each topic was another beast entirely. [Remember, the naps?]

The changing framework and timeline in preparing for the exam made studying feel awkward and even more challenging than usual. Plus, all the random pregnancy experiences that I didn’t count on when I initially setup my plan. I was a mess, mentally and physically fatigued, and working like a mad woman to realize my dream.

In total, I utilized over 400 hours of study time. However, I’m pretty sure that was only possible due to the change in date (from July to October), and the fact that I started reviewing my outlines incredibly early [as in, May…a week or so after receiving failing results].

The key is to craft a schedule that works for you. Whatever works for your schedule is the most important aspect for a healthy study and learning experience. There’s also the theory of diminishing returns to consider — it does my brain absolutely no good to study for 13 hours straight. I felt like Barbri videos and reviews, combined with Adaptibar, and Crushendo on a daily basis was just too much for me to handle.

Instead, I made time to study, workout, and spend allotted time with my family. Up until month 5 of my pregnancy, I was walk-jogging 5 miles a day and enjoyed a standing Sunday brunch with my family (this is still very much a weekly ritual, too). This time I was determined to find a happy balance between studying law and living my life and, in my opinion, I was all the better for setting (and keeping) this goal.

Chunking up my time and studying in smaller increments was incredibly helpful to my success this time around. That’s the benefit of starting early and spacing out your study sessions. By setting up this schedule, I didn’t feel like I was cramming information during the final week or two leading up to the exam. I knew I’d put in the required effort and was much more confident walking into this examination. In fact, with closer to 13 weeks of study time, I ended up using my study plan and then dedicating time to more essays leading up to the exam date. I worked through approximately 1500 MBE questions on Adaptibar (and about 200 more using Emmanuel’s and practice with my tutor), 8 MPTs (I re-worked several of the same ones at the recommendation of my Bar Readiness professor), and more than 60 essays questions.

Use the NCBE Topics List.

The first time I sat for the Bar, I followed the Barbri plan. I read through the entire outline for each subject and honestly thought I was “getting it.” But what was actually happening is that I was reading it and not actually taking it in and sitting with the material.

This time around? I took the NCBE outline and matched it up with my Barbri book outline. Then, I scratched out every single topic in the book that was not on the NCBE topics list. I refused to fill my mind with excess information. There’s already too much to review, no need to add extra crap.

After removing the topics that weren’t going to be tested, I read through the table of contents and the outline itself. Making notes here and there in terms of how the outline was organized, as well as highlighting exceptions or minute rules that I didn’t know or remember.

Once I read through each outline fully, I started in on practice MBE questions. No more than 33 per day, typically (see the schedule, above). While working through each question, I read through the answer choices, picked the one I felt was best, and then would flip to the section in the outline where that answer should be and confirm my choice. If I were wrong, I took the time to write the proper rule of down on a notepad and make a note of the page number where I sourced that rule.

I spent 1/3 of my MBE time practicing the questions and 2/3 reviewing outlines and the actual law behind the answers. I highly recommend this method. It came in handy when I worked with my tutor, who would consistently change facts and ask me whether a slight change in circumstance would end in a different result, making another answer choice more likely. Taking the time to really sit with the rules made my approach to the MBE that much stronger.

Hire a Tutor.

That job of a lifetime I mentioned…well, this is where it came in clutch. My boss also happens to be an amazing mentor and he really kept me centered and grounded through this stressful year. When I failed in February he let me know that he didn’t want to start over with another clerk, and that he believed I could pass this exam. I felt entirely crushed after receiving those results, but he helped me keep my head above water and I will be forever grateful. He also convinced me to utilize a tutor for Bar prep. If he hadn’t set this up and made the introduction for me, I’m not sure I would have considered it a viable option.

Working with Keith made the biggest difference in my Bar prep. I had a weekly check-in with him, where I was expected to have reviewed the material and work through practice MBE questions. Keith was my accountability partner, in a matter of speaking, which was exactly what I didn’t know I needed. I asked him to not only help prep me with question review, but also to create study aids to help me work through subject areas, particularly those more nuanced exceptions in the NCBE topic list.

Unlike working through questions with friends and other examinees, Keith kept me on my toes and forced me to analyze questions from multiple perspectives, constantly changing the fact patterns and asking me to explain my rationale. He helped me improve my MBE score by more than 15 points, and ultimately helped me improve my overall exam score by more than 50 points, which made all the difference in overcoming this career hurdle.

Block Out Virtually Everything & Everyone.

My biggest impediment studying for the Bar exam also happened to be my loudest fans and support system. My family went through a whole helluvalot this past year. We lost both of my grandparents to cancer, months apart. Their treatments were harsh and witnessing them slip away was awful for each one of us. Losing them nearly broke me, but studying for the Bar exam and making them proud was the singular focus of my Bar prep life. At least, it was until I found out I was pregnant — then I knew I just had to pass to support this little nugget.

With all the worldly chaos, I had to set boundaries with my family members. I was explicit with my time and autonomy, even going so far as to demand that no one visited our home unless invited. I drew a line in the sand and explained exactly what I needed from them. Thankfully, despite the harsh step I took, they listened. I was granted the space to study, free from the constant messages and calls from them at all hours.

My brain appreciated the time to step away from the family drama and concerns, just for a few weeks. They probably didn’t find the ice-out comical, but…it was necessary.

Focus on the Effort, Not the Time.

The amount of time you study does not matter. Time is relative. I can say I studied for 13 hours and make someone else feel like crap when they only got 9 hours in. How insane does that sound? What you do has no real bearing on what Cindy does to prepare for the exam. She can smoke you on exam day and the amount of time she put in does not necessarily correlate with her likelihood to pass or fail. Sure, there’s always someone who says they only studied for 2 weeks and passed, but the likelihood is that most people put in about 10 weeks of prep time to get through this exam. None of that time matters though if you’re just going through the motions or checking off a box.

The effort you put into the study is what truly matters. I got more out of effective, short-burst studying than I ever did with the marathon sessions using Barbri. I found myself actually sleeping through the night, experiencing fewer night terrors (maybe two or three, where I overslept and missed the exam entirely), and feeling less overwhelmed about taking the exam. I was literally growing a human and focusing on my health first, this exam second. I hadn’t prioritized myself that way before and gosh did I notice the change.

I focused on getting through what needed to be reviewed, sat and took the time to understand the material, and refused to shovel down as many questions as I could handle. That militant study style simply does not work for my study habits, and why I attempted to do that previously is a testament to what I was willing to buy into (stupid bar prep companies) without any regard for how I handled my study time in law school.

Getting the material down, truly understanding it, is key to passing this exam. You’re shooting for minimum competency, which doesn’t sound so hard, but it’s much more difficult than one might think.

Focusing on improvement is much better than setting a goal of 80% or better in each subject for Adaptibar or whatever other Bar Prep course you’re using. I set my sights on achieving a comfortable balance with my health and my study efforts. I think I placed too much emphasis on the idea of studying the first time I took the exam, without any regard to what my actual take-away was. This time around, I made sure to speak about what I learned to my husband, out loud to myself and the bebe, and then again to my tutor. The effort was incorporated across multiple avenues and the material really stuck in my mind. I cannot tell you exactly how many hours I studied, but I can sure as hell tell you I used those hours to my advantage and made each one of them count.

Review & Practice!

I think the key to succeeding on this exam is to keep reviewing and churning through the material in different ways. Look at the MBE questions from different angles and think through the problems. Don’t simply try to memorize the fact patterns, you’ll just end up pissed off and dizzy.

There is a way over the hurdle, but it takes patience and a metric ton of hard work. Don’t let anyone stand in your way. Focus on yourself, your needs and, more importantly, this goal. Set your sights high, friends. You can pass the Bar! I look forward to welcoming you into this amazing profession.

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Advice Daily Dose Law School

Pressuring the Pursuit of the ‘J.D.’

When I was little, my mom told me I was smart.  She told me I was going to be the first female in the family to go to a university.  And I was. As my college years passed, I began to feel lost. I’d always had a plan.  A plan to go to college. But what was the plan for after college?  No one ever told me what I was supposed to do next.  If I was so smart, how could I possibly settle for “just” a Bachelor’s degree? If I was so smart, how could I possibly settle for “just” an ordinary job? 

While I didn’t know what I wanted, I knew what I didn’t want.  I didn’t want a “basic” job. I didn’t want to go to med school (blood – yuck!).  I didn’t want to go to grad school as I felt like it would leave me just as directionless as I already was.  So that left law school! It was perfect! A choice that led to a career path. Done! My whole life planned out.  And it was my idea, right?  

Well, after many years as a lawyer and many years of self-reflection, I’ve come to realize that law school was NOT my idea.  It was something I may have thought of, but once I mentioned the idea, my parents would not let go of it.  As a result, I felt like I could not let go of it either.  

I told them I was taking a gap year.  “OK, but you don’t want to lose your momentum…” (pressure, pressure, pressure).  Ultimately, I took two years off. But I think my parents were secretly relieved when I went after that.   Unfortunately, none of us had any idea what I was in for. Most law students graduate with mountains of debt and are stuck working in a field not of their choosing because of that debt.  Most lawyers end up with anxiety and a high percentage have depression and/or addiction issues. How do we lawyers end up this way? Pressure.  

For the students whose entire family is full of lawyers, those families hear their college student say, “maybe law school” and they immediately say:

“Welcome to the family!!!!” 

“Be one of us!!!”

It’s kinda hard to back down from that. You would essentially be saying, “No, I don’t want to be one of you.”

For the students who are one of the first in their family to seek higher education, law school is not just icing on the cake, it’s like the entire candy store on top.  Parents are so proud. And again, once the words are said, you can’t take them back. To the proud parent, it’s a done deal!  

Then there is the self-created pressure.  You’ve always been the overachiever. The one who never gives up.  Are you really going to stop at a Bachelor’s degree? It’s so ordinary, isn’t it?  You want to be extraordinary! But you don’t know how. It’s hard to imagine becoming extraordinary by accepting an ordinary job out of college.  

That’s the problem.  Most of us never allow ourselves to try.  You don’t need more education to become extraordinary.  You need experience. An extraordinary person can turn an ordinary job into an extraordinary one.  Or they can rise through the ranks and reach the extraordinary position.   

Most students don’t even realize they have placed this pressure upon themselves.  Or, they think of it as a positive push to greatness. But often, the result is counter to what they actually want out of life.  Of course, at age 20, most people don’t actually know what they want out of life. And once those law loans are in place, there’s no money left to explore what you want out of life. You have too many bills to pay.

So what’s the answer?  How do you escape this pressure cycle?  It’s simple. Take some time to figure out who you are!  Take time off before going to law school. Even if you are determined to go to law school — a little rest, a little work experience, can enhance your resume.  If you take time off from school, you can save up some of your tuition and reduce the cost of attendance. You can rest your brain for a bit so you can handle all that studying that will come your way.  And if that time off takes you on a new path, that’s OK! Law school will always be there.

I know what you are thinking; you already told people you were going, right?  Well, pull up a few of those scary statistics from the American Bar Association on depression, anxiety, and addiction.  Share those numbers. Tell people you are going to explore a career path that doesn’t have those numbers while you figure out how to not become one of those statistics.  If you express concern for your mental health, backed by real numbers, some of that pressure is going to go away. And once again, you are looking pretty smart!  

From my observations, the happiest lawyers are those who have less debt (and therefore more flexibility on whether they remain a lawyer and what area of law they practice) and attend law school after a break.  I encourage you to be cautious before jumping into such an expensive path. It’s perfectly OK to say I had this thought, but after further research, I determined it was not the best path right now. You have years to attend law school; there’s no rush. But once you attend, that debt will keep you on that path, whether you still want it or not.  So slow down! This is your life!  Make it a happy one. 

About Jolene:
Jolene Blackbourn, Esq. is an attorney who left her senior-level position at a Fortune almost-100 company (106 to be exact) to become a full-time life counselor to pre-law students.  She has been advising law students since she was one herself. She gives speeches to pre-law organizations whenever possible. If interested in having Jolene speak at your school or to take advantage of her free resources, feel free to visit her website: www.JoleneBlackbourn.com/prelaw

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Advice Daily Dose

When All Else Fails: Vent.

Venting helps. I think there’s a whole lot to be said about compartmentalizing, but – in my experience – there’s even more that comes with keeping those compartments shut. Hence this need to vent.

I’ve been keeping walls up for several weeks now, trying to stay focused on this goal: pass the fucking bar. I’m already doing the work, helping clients, pushing my knowledge of the law forward – but I’m making the same amount of money as our secretary and that kinda blows. I’ve actually laughed at this, because I’m currently the most educated I’ve ever been in my life and, yet, making the least amount of money I’ve ever made in my life. I know it will be worth it in the long run. But, presently, I need to sit and voice this and let go of this thought. It’s pretty comical though, right?

Thankfully, I took the last month off from work. I setup my out of office notification and peaced-out. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t know there are already more than 800 emails sitting in my inbox and I’m feeling so guilty at the thought of my boss feeling overwhelmed. But the simple fact is this: he gave me the time off, so I could come back to the office, confident I’d put my best foot forward on this exam. So, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. The look on his face when I failed the Bar during attempt Numero Uno was awful. I don’t want to see that again. I’d much rather be able to help him by attending hearings and actually partaking in a true lawyering role. #DreamJob

This past month was a whirlwind of comedic missteps and happenings. A pipe burst in our house, I got physically hurt (not once, but 3 times), and there’s a heap of personal health stuff going on with my grandparents. I won’t go into this because I will cry.

So yeah, life’s been incredibly stressful. And it’s not even the kind of stress one brings on themselves, it’s genuinely things I cannot control. That’s the worst kind of stress. I wish I could tell you that I can just put all of this in a box and deal with it later, but that’s not a gift I possess. I feel like I’m handling things, compartmentalizing. And then, little bits of my mind obsess with these compartmentalized boxes and decide to open them when I’m sleeping (hence the night terrors). Needless to say, it’s been rough.

I’ve been putting on a brave face, getting out there for several runs a week, and even started yoga and daily meditation. I’m trying to keep as balanced as possible, but sometimes these efforts feel like a losing battle. It’s completely possible that I’m feeling this way because the exam date is creeping ever closer. Going through it once was hellish, going back for a second time is difficult to do without a bit of a defeatist attitude. I get it, trust me. But, few people know what this is like; putting your brain through this much concerted effort must be akin to a bomb specialist running down to the wire.

*Actual Footage* of Bar Examiners Giving Out Exams

Getting this out there was quite cathartic. There’s quite a few emotions running through this body and I needed more room for Texas Essay rules, so I had to empty the vessel. I will not apologize for putting this all out in the open. It helped. Do what you need to do to get yourself in the right headspace for this exam. Put yourself first, at all costs, from now until the exam is over.

I highly recommend you let go of whatever minutiae you’ve got stored up because 1) it’s scientifically proven to be unhealthy, 2) you’ve got absolutely no time for wallowing or thinking anything else other than Bar concepts for the next 12 days, and 3) you’re a boss babe/dude and you gotta keep pressing on.

Here’s some positive motivation from a cute bunny:

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Advice Daily Dose

Avoid the Panic: 5 Stress Management Tips That WORK!

How do you deal with a multitude of life events and circumstances?

I’ve debated posting about this for a while now. So many emotions revolve around taking the Bar, even more-so when you’re taking it for the second time. I wish I could tell you that everything is alright and that I’m doing fine – it’s what I tell myself on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong, I’m making progress in the Barbri program, and keeping up with my own supplemental studies (like adaptibar and crushendo) – but I have, almost every night for the past few weeks, experienced night terrors.

Stress manifests itself in ways you might not expect. Here I was, thinking my compartmentalization method was effective; only later being woken up in a fit of tears and strangled breaths because of a horrible dream. Someone always dies in them, sometimes it’s me. Now, I’m sure you can imagine that these nightmares are anything but pleasant, and they make getting a full night’s sleep quite impossible. No sleep means crappy study sessions, which leads to the cycle of diminishing returns. So, I endeavored to make changes in my own lifestyle, employing better habits for myself and my own boundaries. I’ve used these 5 things every day for the past week and have realized more peaceful, restful nights, as well as added benefits.

1. Work Out for 30-45 minutes daily.

There’s so many added benefits to working out. One major bonus is that I topple into bed every evening and am actually able to sleep. The other bonus to running, for me, is that I have time to address my worries and think about them while I run. This links directly to #5 – expressing my feelings, even just to myself, makes a huge difference in my quality of life.

2. Plan Every Meal.

I know, yes – this takes time. But make the damn time. Carve out a few hours on Sunday and Wednesday to meal prep. Or, if you have the family support, pitch in for groceries and ask someone else to meal prep for you. I typically cook in our household, but my wonderful husband stepped up to the challenge and has prepared wonderful meals for us while I soak up the extra study time.

Make Time. Thank Me Later.

3. Build in ‘down time.’

I use my calendar like a weapon. If you don’t ask me for time, you simply don’t make it into the book. If you’re not in the plans, then I refuse to make time for you. It sounds mean, but I’m preparing for one of the hardest exams in my life, so this thought process basically comes down to: prioritize me and I will do the same for you. Otherwise, I have no time to give you. I will not apologize for this either.

Another option is to build in time for fun stuff, whether it’s reading for fun or watching a movie with your family at home. There needs to be time spent away from the outlines and study. Every study session needs to be effective, and you simply cannot stay focused if you’re trying to pour from an empty cup. Make time to relax and replenish your reserves.

4. Breathe Deeply & Re-Focus.

Whenever you find your mind wandering, especially in the middle of reading outlines or working on a multiple choice problem, remind yourself to focus and then close your eyes and take a deep breath.

It’s unsettling to sit in one spot for a significant period of time reviewing, studying, and practicing. When I tell friends how many hours I typically study a day – they balk. So I know first-hand how crazy those 10-12 hours days are for you. That said, keeping your focus is a skill you should hone. Trust me, it will make such a difference on exam day.

5. Express Your Emotions.

This entire process is hellacious. The time-suck of studying, after already putting in a literal 3 years of effort to earn the degree, is mind numbing. I already failed once, so there’s this sense of impending doom at not making it through this time. The more I study, the easier it is to drown out the nagging little voice telling me I may not be good enough.

I use my time at the gym to think about how my studies are progressing, to consider what is going on with my family, and contemplate how I may be able to help once I get licensed. Since I can’t just pull these thoughts and leave them in a pensieve, I find it best to deal with them head on.

I hope these tips help you and wish you nothing but the best as you prepare for the Bar exam!

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Advice Daily Dose

What Happens When You Fail The Bar Exam

1. You Feel Unequivocally Alone.

The short version? You failed the Bar and are now living on the tiniest one-person island. Drifting aimlessly, helplessly, in a sliver of existence you never knew you’d be trapped within. And it sucks so damn much.

The long version:

People suck. You failed the Bar and now, suddenly, many of the people who were cheering you on and trying to encourage you through the long wait before the pass-list posted are now nowhere to be found. Not all of those individuals are law grads, either. Sure, you can tell yourself that those “friends” don’t know what to say, and that’s why they haven’t called to check on you because they’re speechless.

Well, let me be the first to say – FUCK THEM.
Friends stick around. They’re the ones who say, “Well, shit. That’s crappy news, but I’m here whenever you need me.” Or, “I don’t know what to say, but I love you and this test does NOT define you. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but it’s going to be alright.” Even a sincere facebook post is better than not saying anything, jeez.

Friends are there, for the good AND the bad.

If you found yourself alone, adrift, and feeling like you’re the dumbest person in the world right now because you failed the Bar exam – you are NOT alone. I failed. I missed the mark by 3.5% and I must say, what a spectacular fail that was. In Texas, the Board of Law Examiners sends out 1 email if you passed and 2 emails if you failed, usually within just a couple of minutes of each other. I received one email and waited nearly two hours for a second one. I thought I was safe, but when I opened my message from the BLE, after several hours of technical difficulties and even a removed login button on the site to keep it from crashing, my letter said:

FUCKING SPECTACULAR TUMBLE DOWNHILL, right?

Yeahhh, I don’t quite know if I’ve ever gone from feeling elated to what appears to be my rock bottom in a nanosecond. I couldn’t help but cry. The tears came up hard and fast and the sobs that racked my body felt like they would never stop. There’s a gaping hole in my ego now. Maybe I needed it, deserved it even. Maybe one person is not allowed to be so incandescently happy. I went through every “maybe” I could muster, every maybe except the one my deep-dark critic wanted answered: “maybe I didn’t work hard enough…”

I posted my failure publicly because I knew that I wasn’t the only person in Texas to fail and just couldn’t bear the thought of someone feeling this lonely without knowing they can reach out to someone who’s going through the same thing. Because let me be clear: you’re going to feel alone for a while.

Even my husband didn’t know what to do or say. He held me and let me cry for what felt like forever. After a while, I finally said “I think I’m done. I need to stop crying.” 

And his response was “why?” 

So I said, “because it’s stupid. Crying isn’t going to change anything. I need a plan.” 

And this man said, “you need to acknowledge how you feel. Just feel all of it and then we can move forward.” 

So — feel this failure. Take a beat and re-set. Then, when you’ve grieved this setback in your career, start your preparations to tackle this mountain in the next go-around. We will get through this; even though it feels like it right now, I promise you – you are NOT alone.

2. You Get Unsolicited Advice.

Some people want to help, so they’ll encourage you. Those individuals have a special place in my heart because that small kindness and daring to say “hey, I love you even though you’re not a lawyer yet and can’t really help me with anything” truly melted a bit of this self-loathing away, ultimately making it easier to step out of this bleak reality of having to mount up for a second attempt at the hardest exam of my life.

But then there’s nitwits who can’t argue their way out of damn cardboard box – who passed the exam – and want you to know how much better they are for passing on the first try, so they have to give you their study advice. The kind of cringe-worthy tips from people who probably don’t know you, your study habits, couldn’t tell you where you sat in class, and are just trying to tout their success in your face. To all those jerks – you can go shave your back now. Yeah, I’m looking at you, classmate.

You need to remember this: there’s all sorts of reasons why someone fails the Bar exam. You could have given that exam everything you had, but still failed because some subsection of your mind refused to focus on family law spousal maintenance rules because you were terrified about your grandfather’s stage 4 cancer diagnosis. Or, you might have been worried about the results before you got through day one, trying to calculate what passing or failing might do to your life; putting a wedding on hold, adding a little one to your family. Quieting your mind may be a herculean task. There’s a litany of causes for a bad exam day. Don’t feel like you have to take the advice being hurled your way, because you may have done everything right and still faltered. Just do your best to push past the bullshit advice some people give you and hold tight to the nuggets of wisdom that make you feel better, which encourage you in the right direction to passing the exam next time. I want you to remember how truly shitty this feels, so that when you do pass the bar, you don’t become one of the assholes giving out fudgiscles of “advice.”

3. You Either Start Planning or Start Panicking.

I’m a planner. But I have some friends that are freaking out. Either reaction is valid. I needed to feel more in control, create a hit list of things to review, practice, and make corrections moving forward. With everything going on in my life at the moment, I do not have the emotional bandwidth to freak out. For me, I go wiiiiide and the panic just becomes a cacophony of never-ending reasons why I’m not good enough to make it through this exam. So here’s my new mantra: You already did. Taking the Bar exam again is completely surmountable.

4. Your Finances Might Take A Hit.

I think the most terrifying aspect of failing the Bar is the simple fact that I won’t be able to begin paying down my loans for several more months. My budget got a whole helluvalot tighter and I’ve had to add the stress of prepping for the February Bar on top of making calls to my student loan lenders (because, private school loans are a beast), hoping against hope they will grant my extra forbearance.

For those worried about whether they can do this again, I suggest you take a hard look at your bills and other needs. Prioritize what you can, make calls for those loans, and apply for a bar exam loan. Look at every option at your disposal and tackle the problem. You are brilliant. You are educated and fully capable of getting yourself through this shitstorm of an experience.

5. Everyone Is Awkward Around You.

Everyone. Your mom. The Professors. Friends who passed. I’ve been walking around in a foggy mess, trying to save myself, all the while pretty much ignored by some of the people who I felt I needed most. I say felt because I’ve made it this far without some of you and I don’t plan on begging for a friendship that obviously wasn’t important enough for you to reach out. Adios, pseudo-friends.

The awkwardness goes away when you approach it head-on. Take that with a grain of salt. I’m not trying to fight anybody, but the second my intelligence was questioned for this failure I stepped to that plate right damn quick. This exam is not the great equalizer. As my mentor told me, “there are plenty of shitty attorneys that passed the Bar.”

Failing this exam does not make you lesser. Some people are awkward around us because they are trying to figure out what they would want to hear. I mean, what the hell do you tell someone who’s entire vision for their life and career was just up-ended in splendid fashion? You can’t send a meme. You sure as hell can’t laugh it off…not yet anyway. To all those people struggling to figure out a way to help re-takers through this haze, I implore you: offer a hug, a smile, or a text with a simple “I’m here for you.”

Do something, damnit. Even if you can’t find the words.
Those small actions can go such a long way to making us feel like we aren’t alone. Knowing we have someone rooting for us, after this setback, means everything.

6. You Put Yourself Through It Again.

I want to be a licensed attorney. I know you do, too. So here’s the thing – we’re going to do the damn thing again. Only this time? We’re going to pass. Set yourself up to study more efficiently and effectively. Practice more questions. Do whatever you need to do and correct your shortfall. Meet with your Bar Readiness professors, even if seeing them makes you feel bad about yourself. Just go. Put yourself on the best path to ace the Bar next time. Make the necessary adjustments and then smoke it like a cheap cigar.

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Advice Daily Dose Law School

Thoughts Before I Take The Texas Bar Exam

I’m not sure how to feel right now. The Bar exam begins in 2 days and I honestly don’t feel calm, but I’m also not in a full-blown panic. I’m antsy. I can’t quite put into words the exact feeling coursing through me right now, but I can tell you that I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders tonight. Definitely questioning if I know-know everything, or if I just know everything. Because, I’m not entirely sure it’s ever enough.

There are 37 subjects on this exam. Did you know that? Someone asked me today “do you feel ready?” And my only response to her was, “well, there’s 37 subjects on this test.” But that’s all I needed to say because she responded with “well, damn.” Yes, girl. Damn indeed.

There’s exceptions to exceptions and we’re required to recognize laws at the drop of a hat. It seems easy enough in practice, when you can just tell your client that you’ll look into the matter and get back to them. But under a time-pressured exam, it’s entirely different. I have to figure out a way to let my examiner know that I truly understand the law, with around 600 words per essay (of which, there are 12). And the best advice I was given is something along the lines of “Just keep moving forward and fake it if you have to because you simply will not know it all.”

I’m trying to figure out how to tackle this experience, hoping to convey these emotions and internal monologue. Before I even walk into this exam, I’m doing all I can to clear my mind of the stress and concern caused by the hundreds (yes, hundreds) of hours of preparation I’ve put into gearing up for this three-day test. At this point, I want you to know that there’s still time to review, but there’s nothing left to learn. I promise you, I’m racking my brain trying to figure out what else I can do, but I’m drawing a blank. You’ve put in the time. You feel bruised and battered, brain a little worse for wear, but it will get you through this.

This exam is just that – a test. At this point in your education, you’ve taken hundreds of exams. Each hurdle got you here. You’ve dreamt for this opportunity. Don’t shy from it; go forth and conquer! It’s only three days, in the span of thousands. This experience will not break you. Lay everything you’ve got into this exam because knowing you put the aggregate of your energy and effort into it is all you can truly ask of yourself.

Good luck to you all and may the curve be ever in our favor!

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Advice Daily Dose Law School

Crash-Course Study Methods

I’ve realized that I loathe Barbri’s Property outline. I actually graduated from law school and yet, reading their property outline confuses the ever-loving hell out of me. The condensed version spans more than 60 freaking pages. yes, the CONDENSED version. I searched high and low for other options, including re-reading my own course notes and textbook from 1L year. That helped, but it was still too much to review. Luckily for me, a really helpful guy happened to read my blog and kindly suggested I use a new study tool.

Enter – CRUSHENDO.

I must tell you that I do not consider myself an auditory learner, at least not one that can simply listen to a lecture and nothing else. I’m a multiple-modality learner, which requires me to doodle or write along to what I’m listening. Sometimes, when the audio is too long or not engaging, I find myself drifting. So, I wasn’t too sure Crushendo would offer me anything worthwhile. But this is the freaking BAR EXAM, so there was absolutely no way I was going to avoid trying it out. Here’s my honest review, folks:

This program combines a written outline with a series of audio files. You can read the outline, which is considerably shorter than the Barbri work, and then listen to the playlist for each outline. The playlist includes audio files which are broken into digestible lengths (approximately 4 minutes each). I can listen to them while running at the gym, or while cooking; both scenarios offer me the chance to focus on moving, while also using neurons to work through concepts. Another aspect I love about the outlines are the pictures and mnemonics they incorporate. They’re pretty funny and memorable, albeit really corny or weird. But hey, they suit their purpose!

I had a chance to speak with Adam, creator of Crushendo, and he told me about the history of the company and why they started. These outlines, several times edited and improved, were what he created to get through the Bar Exam himself. He aced it on the first try and scored in the top 5% nationally. [In case you needed to know whether his study tools are useful, they are].

I’m really thankful he had the foresight to create these outlines because I’ve found them invaluable in preparing myself for the Texas Bar Exam. If you’re a law student, especially a 1L, I highly recommend you purchase these MBE, MPT, and MEE (for those states using the UBE) outlines and essay tools. This program allows you to prepare with MBE multiple choice questions, as well as MPT and essay exams (for the UBE only). They include point sheets and you can self-grade to see where you still need improvement. SO USEFUL!

This is a sample piece from Crushendo

I can’t tell you how much I wish I’d found Crushendo during my 1L year. I’m just thrilled these outlines found their way to me. If you need a crash-course for the MBE, these outlines might be just the ticket for you. If you’re barely beginning your law school career, do yourself the favor of purchasing this course content. Once purchased, you have lifetime access to the program; whenever they update with more MBE questions or essays from the NCBE, you have instant access to the content. How great is that?!

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Advice Law School

The Ugly Truth About Bar Prep

Preparing for the Bar exam is unbelievably lonely. I’m not sure what I expected this to feel like, but whatever those preconceived notions may have been were shattered after a few weeks into seriously prepping for this exam. Admittedly, I put off studying for a while. My brain just felt like it couldn’t deal after graduation.

This summer has been the most mentally fatiguing experience of my life and I’ve found myself trying to explain this emotion, or series of feelings, multiple times to many different people. So, here’s the ugly truth about bar prep – it sucks and feels like a hazing ritual. When no one in your immediate family has gone through this experience, it can feel like you’re an island and there’s not even a dinghy to help you escape. But you’ve got to get through it, and you will. Build the damn boat, friend.

The funny thing is, studying isn’t the difficult part. It’s getting myself into study mode. Every day. For hours. Several hours. Like nine hours a day and then time spent for review, and the gym (where I’ve been listening to audio outlines from Crushendo), feeding myself, and getting the dogs to the park for some play time. Aside from the gym, I tend to do a majority of these events alone. Despite what others might think, I am not lounging around at home, eating bonbons, and watching movies. I’m studying, working, working out, stress-baking, or sleeping. Glamorous, huh?

But hey, I bake cookies and send them to friends — that’s a good thing, I think.

I did make sure to maintain my weekly brunches with family because there’s no way this girl was giving up waffles and coffee on a Sunday morning. Also, I stress-bake. And frankly, I don’t give a damn if you think it sounds stupid. It’s how I cope and take needed mental breaks. Stay in your lane, peeps.

I’ve given it plenty of thought and honestly feel like I’ve put in the time this exam requires. There’s still about 100 hours of review left, which sounds ridiculous, but there’s plenty of time left to go over the law I need. Thinking about that time means more minutes alone spent working on essays, P&E practice questions, and MBE questions. It’s a lonely business, y’all. If your brain and personality don’t handle being alone well, then I strongly suggest figuring out a way to study and meet your social needs. [Everything in moderation, folks…including time with your friends and family. Little spurts seem to work best for me.]

In addition to the loneliness, studying for the Bar is also a suffocating experience. I used the Barbri program and, once I get results, I’ll be sure to let you know how things turned out. What I know right now is that I feel so overwhelmed with the breadth of law this program includes. From what I ascertained, it’s more than necessary, compared to other programs. Which is probably why I feel like I’m drowning all the time. Some of the condensed outlines are 70 pages. Let that sink in. SEVENTY. PAGES.

So now, you’re secluded. You’re losing yourself in a pile of books that basically require glue to keep your eyes open, under an amount of law you’re pretty sure there’s no way a single person can know all of, wishing for the chance to just use the degree you already earned. Not allowed.

Plus, there’s the relationships that will – without a doubt – suffer for your failure to be present in the lives of others. Oh, and if that’s not enough stress, there’s the added concern of the countless other things going on in the dark depths of your mind. Everyone has worries. You don’t want to disappoint your family, friends, or yourself. There’s so much riding on this exam and everything in your life at this very moment feels like it’s being held together by balsa wood and papier-mâché. Trust me — you are not alone in this. It may feel that way, but we’re going through it together. You can reach out and vent and talk through your concerns. Every attorney before you has been in exactly this same position.

Every lawyer I’ve spoken to about this process said a variation of the same thing – “this is the worst of it. Get yourself past this roadblock and you’ll be fine.” But no one told me how they did it. Not a single person. Because the only real answer to “how can I get through this?” is simple: everyone does it differently. And no single experience will align with another. Everyone learns differently, studies differently, and works differently. There is no formula for getting through it with flying colors. You just do what you can, give prepping everything you’ve got, and then walk into the exam days with confidence to spare.

There’s 2 weeks left until game day. Keep it up. You’ve got this. Keep going. Little by little, you’ll get yourself there. Plus, in 17 days – you can go back to reading things for fun!

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Advice Law School

Camera Talk

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Advice Daily Dose

Stress & Bar Prep

We’re about four weeks into BarPrep. Are you kinda-sorta-totally losing your mind already? You’re not the only one. Honestly, I’d be more concerned for you if you lacked panic and fatigue in your daily routine. Studying for as long and as hard as we do, it makes complete sense that you’re a frazzled ball of nerves. I am, too. It’s okay. You will be alright and you’re not going through this alone. I promise.

At the start of bar prep, I found myself dazing out for several minutes at a time listening to lectures but not actually hearing the information. During these times, I realized the need to go back and rewind to collect my thoughts and my notes. It frustrated me so much. I think it was a combination of forcing myself to listen to a recorded lecture, which never worked for me as an undergrad or graduate student. So, why the hell did I think it would work now?

Instead of grinding out the lecture time, I reached out to a professor who suggested I toss the video lectures and only read through the outlines. She also encouraged shorter reading sessions followed by a necessary break. It seemed entirely wrong, but I tried it. In having done this for a week, I can say that this version of my studies experienced a positive effect. My MBE practice scores are in a good to better range and I am on track. I was feeling off-kilter and am thrilled to settle on a studying approach that works! If the method your bar prep program suggests doesn’t work for you, don’t be afraid to change it up. Work with your learning style and their tools!

Between studying, the breaks are crucial. My friend Dax (who already aced the Bar in February) keeps posting kind, motivating words on our class facebook page. It’s incredibly thoughtful to hear from a friend, as well as have the reminder that “hey, there’s life after the bar exam.” It may seem silly, but those words – offering peace and a gentle reminder to step away from the books – are wonderful. Do what you can to take a break and give your mind some ease.

I took time off for a [much-needed] three-day weekend with some of my best friends. We plan an annual Girls’ Weekend and, holy cow, was I desperately in need of seeing these phenomenal ladies!

We visited Colorado Springs, went hiking, and talked about everything under the sun. I let go of so many thoughts I’d put energy into. I took deep, steadying breaths atop amazing cliffs and enjoyed deep-belly laughs with members of my support system.

You must deal with your stress. Figure out a way to get rid of it so you can focus the entirety of your energy on preparing for this exam. You’ll feel rested and ready to tackle the next subject when you’re not filling your mind with other stressors and situations you have no control over. You can control the effort you put into preparing for the exam, so get it done!

Here’s hoping you have an excellent study week!