Tag: #StressRelief

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Advice Daily Dose

When All Else Fails: Vent.

Venting helps. I think there’s a whole lot to be said about compartmentalizing, but – in my experience – there’s even more that comes with keeping those compartments shut. Hence this need to vent.

I’ve been keeping walls up for several weeks now, trying to stay focused on this goal: pass the fucking bar. I’m already doing the work, helping clients, pushing my knowledge of the law forward – but I’m making the same amount of money as our secretary and that kinda blows. I’ve actually laughed at this, because I’m currently the most educated I’ve ever been in my life and, yet, making the least amount of money I’ve ever made in my life. I know it will be worth it in the long run. But, presently, I need to sit and voice this and let go of this thought. It’s pretty comical though, right?

Thankfully, I took the last month off from work. I setup my out of office notification and peaced-out. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t know there are already more than 800 emails sitting in my inbox and I’m feeling so guilty at the thought of my boss feeling overwhelmed. But the simple fact is this: he gave me the time off, so I could come back to the office, confident I’d put my best foot forward on this exam. So, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. The look on his face when I failed the Bar during attempt Numero Uno was awful. I don’t want to see that again. I’d much rather be able to help him by attending hearings and actually partaking in a true lawyering role. #DreamJob

This past month was a whirlwind of comedic missteps and happenings. A pipe burst in our house, I got physically hurt (not once, but 3 times), and there’s a heap of personal health stuff going on with my grandparents. I won’t go into this because I will cry.

So yeah, life’s been incredibly stressful. And it’s not even the kind of stress one brings on themselves, it’s genuinely things I cannot control. That’s the worst kind of stress. I wish I could tell you that I can just put all of this in a box and deal with it later, but that’s not a gift I possess. I feel like I’m handling things, compartmentalizing. And then, little bits of my mind obsess with these compartmentalized boxes and decide to open them when I’m sleeping (hence the night terrors). Needless to say, it’s been rough.

I’ve been putting on a brave face, getting out there for several runs a week, and even started yoga and daily meditation. I’m trying to keep as balanced as possible, but sometimes these efforts feel like a losing battle. It’s completely possible that I’m feeling this way because the exam date is creeping ever closer. Going through it once was hellish, going back for a second time is difficult to do without a bit of a defeatist attitude. I get it, trust me. But, few people know what this is like; putting your brain through this much concerted effort must be akin to a bomb specialist running down to the wire.

*Actual Footage* of Bar Examiners Giving Out Exams

Getting this out there was quite cathartic. There’s quite a few emotions running through this body and I needed more room for Texas Essay rules, so I had to empty the vessel. I will not apologize for putting this all out in the open. It helped. Do what you need to do to get yourself in the right headspace for this exam. Put yourself first, at all costs, from now until the exam is over.

I highly recommend you let go of whatever minutiae you’ve got stored up because 1) it’s scientifically proven to be unhealthy, 2) you’ve got absolutely no time for wallowing or thinking anything else other than Bar concepts for the next 12 days, and 3) you’re a boss babe/dude and you gotta keep pressing on.

Here’s some positive motivation from a cute bunny:

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Advice Daily Dose

Avoid the Panic: 5 Stress Management Tips That WORK!

How do you deal with a multitude of life events and circumstances?

I’ve debated posting about this for a while now. So many emotions revolve around taking the Bar, even more-so when you’re taking it for the second time. I wish I could tell you that everything is alright and that I’m doing fine – it’s what I tell myself on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong, I’m making progress in the Barbri program, and keeping up with my own supplemental studies (like adaptibar and crushendo) – but I have, almost every night for the past few weeks, experienced night terrors.

Stress manifests itself in ways you might not expect. Here I was, thinking my compartmentalization method was effective; only later being woken up in a fit of tears and strangled breaths because of a horrible dream. Someone always dies in them, sometimes it’s me. Now, I’m sure you can imagine that these nightmares are anything but pleasant, and they make getting a full night’s sleep quite impossible. No sleep means crappy study sessions, which leads to the cycle of diminishing returns. So, I endeavored to make changes in my own lifestyle, employing better habits for myself and my own boundaries. I’ve used these 5 things every day for the past week and have realized more peaceful, restful nights, as well as added benefits.

1. Work Out for 30-45 minutes daily.

There’s so many added benefits to working out. One major bonus is that I topple into bed every evening and am actually able to sleep. The other bonus to running, for me, is that I have time to address my worries and think about them while I run. This links directly to #5 – expressing my feelings, even just to myself, makes a huge difference in my quality of life.

2. Plan Every Meal.

I know, yes – this takes time. But make the damn time. Carve out a few hours on Sunday and Wednesday to meal prep. Or, if you have the family support, pitch in for groceries and ask someone else to meal prep for you. I typically cook in our household, but my wonderful husband stepped up to the challenge and has prepared wonderful meals for us while I soak up the extra study time.

Make Time. Thank Me Later.

3. Build in ‘down time.’

I use my calendar like a weapon. If you don’t ask me for time, you simply don’t make it into the book. If you’re not in the plans, then I refuse to make time for you. It sounds mean, but I’m preparing for one of the hardest exams in my life, so this thought process basically comes down to: prioritize me and I will do the same for you. Otherwise, I have no time to give you. I will not apologize for this either.

Another option is to build in time for fun stuff, whether it’s reading for fun or watching a movie with your family at home. There needs to be time spent away from the outlines and study. Every study session needs to be effective, and you simply cannot stay focused if you’re trying to pour from an empty cup. Make time to relax and replenish your reserves.

4. Breathe Deeply & Re-Focus.

Whenever you find your mind wandering, especially in the middle of reading outlines or working on a multiple choice problem, remind yourself to focus and then close your eyes and take a deep breath.

It’s unsettling to sit in one spot for a significant period of time reviewing, studying, and practicing. When I tell friends how many hours I typically study a day – they balk. So I know first-hand how crazy those 10-12 hours days are for you. That said, keeping your focus is a skill you should hone. Trust me, it will make such a difference on exam day.

5. Express Your Emotions.

This entire process is hellacious. The time-suck of studying, after already putting in a literal 3 years of effort to earn the degree, is mind numbing. I already failed once, so there’s this sense of impending doom at not making it through this time. The more I study, the easier it is to drown out the nagging little voice telling me I may not be good enough.

I use my time at the gym to think about how my studies are progressing, to consider what is going on with my family, and contemplate how I may be able to help once I get licensed. Since I can’t just pull these thoughts and leave them in a pensieve, I find it best to deal with them head on.

I hope these tips help you and wish you nothing but the best as you prepare for the Bar exam!

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Daily Dose

Productive Study Breaks

Today was beyond stressful. I spent more time than I care to admit trying to print my notecards because I’d like to flip through them and give my eyes a break from the digital screens I’ve subjected them to these past 10 weeks. But, that plan went to hell when I tried not one, but three different printers, and failed to actually print a useful (double-sided) page.

Instead of taking home this epic array of multi-colored, indexed, and carefully crafted notecards, today was a lesson in futility. Because, what else can I possibly expect this close to the actual Bar Exam? This entire excursion proved fruitless. Rather than flip out or cry, I decided to simply deal with this ish. I changed the format of my notecards and opted to use them digitally, viewed from my iPad, while working through essay questions and quick-outlining. After this hellish summer, I flat out refuse to fall apart now. Neither should you.

Keep your focus, that same drive and perseverance that dragged you through law school will pull you through this exam. I know you’re tired. I am too, friend. But keep going. We’re almost there. Take a break if you need to; that brain needs some rest. I’m not going to tell you to veg-out and watch a show, because this is crunch time. Your breaks shouldn’t be incredibly lengthy, but they need to be valuable. Really take the time to decompress for the short period you’ve stepped away. It’s hard, but do your best to stop thinking about partnerships and fiduciary duties, the fraction that a child takes from their parent’s separate property if the parent died intestate, and all the countless other nuggets you’ve been reviewing.

Take your pups for a walk, or spend a few minutes giving them tummy rubs, they love you and those few minutes with them will re-vive your spirit. I promise.

Re-focus and get yourself back to the grind.
You’re going to give this exam everything you’ve got.

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Advice Daily Dose

Stress & Bar Prep

We’re about four weeks into BarPrep. Are you kinda-sorta-totally losing your mind already? You’re not the only one. Honestly, I’d be more concerned for you if you lacked panic and fatigue in your daily routine. Studying for as long and as hard as we do, it makes complete sense that you’re a frazzled ball of nerves. I am, too. It’s okay. You will be alright and you’re not going through this alone. I promise.

At the start of bar prep, I found myself dazing out for several minutes at a time listening to lectures but not actually hearing the information. During these times, I realized the need to go back and rewind to collect my thoughts and my notes. It frustrated me so much. I think it was a combination of forcing myself to listen to a recorded lecture, which never worked for me as an undergrad or graduate student. So, why the hell did I think it would work now?

Instead of grinding out the lecture time, I reached out to a professor who suggested I toss the video lectures and only read through the outlines. She also encouraged shorter reading sessions followed by a necessary break. It seemed entirely wrong, but I tried it. In having done this for a week, I can say that this version of my studies experienced a positive effect. My MBE practice scores are in a good to better range and I am on track. I was feeling off-kilter and am thrilled to settle on a studying approach that works! If the method your bar prep program suggests doesn’t work for you, don’t be afraid to change it up. Work with your learning style and their tools!

Between studying, the breaks are crucial. My friend Dax (who already aced the Bar in February) keeps posting kind, motivating words on our class facebook page. It’s incredibly thoughtful to hear from a friend, as well as have the reminder that “hey, there’s life after the bar exam.” It may seem silly, but those words – offering peace and a gentle reminder to step away from the books – are wonderful. Do what you can to take a break and give your mind some ease.

I took time off for a [much-needed] three-day weekend with some of my best friends. We plan an annual Girls’ Weekend and, holy cow, was I desperately in need of seeing these phenomenal ladies!

We visited Colorado Springs, went hiking, and talked about everything under the sun. I let go of so many thoughts I’d put energy into. I took deep, steadying breaths atop amazing cliffs and enjoyed deep-belly laughs with members of my support system.

You must deal with your stress. Figure out a way to get rid of it so you can focus the entirety of your energy on preparing for this exam. You’ll feel rested and ready to tackle the next subject when you’re not filling your mind with other stressors and situations you have no control over. You can control the effort you put into preparing for the exam, so get it done!

Here’s hoping you have an excellent study week!

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Daily Dose Law School

My Brain in Law School

I could not think of anything funnier today than sharing my law school thoughts in Sandra Oh medium.

Can I just…hide from adulting today?

At this point in my 3L year, I basically take turns dragging/being dragged across the finish line for various deadlines. We’re going to graduate, but it’s been a helluva ride so far. I’m tired. You’re tired. Our friends and family keep saying we look ragged. [Thanks, y’all.] It’s been a rough go, but we are almost there! With midterms next week, and this outrageous Texas weather, I’m about damn ready to raise the flag.

Keep pushing.

Every day is a struggle. I’ve put myself through nearly a decade of college and graduate school courses to attain this law degree. The Hydra in my life is both light and dark. The volume of deadlines is practically suffocating, but I feed off the drive and direction those deadlines afford. It’s a weird place to stand, I know. I figure attorney’s deadlines never cease, so best get comfortable with them now.

Every upper-classmen when they see super shiny 1Ls

We get it. We too were once annoyingly happy and not-so-jaded. That’s all different now. We’ve seen things. The late nights, the jail calls, client interactions, and the real world application has us all feeling a little less superhero and a lot more cynical.

The number of exams, quizzes, case briefs, research and writing segments, and mandatory attendance also kind of beat the hell out of us. Sorry for being crabby. You’re our future colleagues. We want you to succeed, but can you just not throw parties in the library study rooms? That’d be great. Thanks.

Post-Bar Jobs, y’all.

This is still the funniest thing to me. Several people I know refuse to speak about post-bar plans. My dream job is split between becoming a law clerk for a federal judge and working for the Federal Public Defender’s Office. These applications are now submitted and I’m playing the waiting game.

I don’t keep these facts a secret. Why? Because I want my colleagues to think of me if they hear about a vacant position! I have to keep job hunting until I land one! It’s prudent planning.

I frequently let other attorneys know about great colleagues who would fit in at their firms. There’s no harm in helping someone else with a leg-up.
Be kind, people.

Pretty much the feeling I get when my thesis advisor meets with me. She’s epic and I never feel worthy enough to be in her presence. #RoleModel
Everything about her is brilliant. How did I get so damn lucky with these amazing mentors?

The little inconveniences grind me much more as of late. Hand dryers not working. Highlighters dying. Dishes not being put in the dishwasher. I actually had to jump in front of the automatic doors this week to get into my office building. -.- Everyone has these kinds of days. Despite me fuming about them now, I recognize, they too, shall pass.

Yesterday was an incredibly hectic day. I completed an MPT (more on how to ace these, later) and met with my writing professor. Next came my meeting with my thesis advisor…where I had to explain that I basically undid my own research. No joke. My research led me down a rabbit hole, where I discovered the “legal” issue I thought I was researching was actually not an issue at all. Time wasted. Feeling vexed. Then I met with another professor because I’m worried about wrapping my head around commercial law. All of these tasks were completed before 1pm. The day was intense, followed by a series of classes and more notes, more questions, more resentment for these four walls and the seemingly endless hurdles still left to jump through before graduation…

Carbs + Good Convo = Happy Sarah

All these things are running around in my head and I felt you needed to know you are not alone. Even though everything feels like it’s on fire, with no fire hydrant in sight, there is a finish line. Treat yourself to a meal out. Have a drink – or two. Take the mental break you need and sit at olive garden with a group of friends for hours, gorging yourself on breadsticks and peach tea. Do whatever you must to get yourself back to center. This is the middle of the semester and you’re draaaaaaagging – I get it. We all do. Let’s talk it through and get back in the race.

When all else fails – DANCE IT OUT. I regularly dance – in the aisles at Target, on my way into the gym, in the kitchen while prepping dinner. I dance everywhere. A little shimmy is good for the soul. Trust me.

I hope your semester is going splendidly. If not, there’s still time to turn it around. If you’re struggling, reach out to a professor, friend, or counselor. Go out there and give law school everything you’ve got!

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Daily Dose Law School

Rolling Craps + Bright Lights

 

This post is several weeks late. I wanted to update y’all, really – but I had this crazy notion that 2L year was going to be smooth sailing. Don’t ask me where the delusion came from, because I have no answers for you. Here’s what you need to know – law school is still incredible, and I love learning new concepts; but then, sometimes, law school will kick you in the gut. That fierce blow will hit you when you’re not ready for it, and you just have to suck it up and keep going. This semester’s workload is 16 course hours of craziness, but I honestly can’t complain about much. The best advice I can give regarding schedules is simple: Seek Balance & Move Forward.

My way of moving forward (after realizing the insane workload I put on myself this semester) resulted in making an off-hand comment about how I wanted to fly to Vegas, play craps, and eat some damn good food. My wonderful friends decided that was a top-notch idea.

9 airline tickets later – boom. Vegas, baby!

IMG_3085
Now, traveling as a law student is difficult, but certainly not impossible. Since the Beau and I traveled with friends, we received discounts on the rooms (block purchase rate), and split the costs of a limo (which was cheaper than taking 3 separate Uber rides or cabs). Additionally, we occasionally split the bill for food, and kept each other in check when it came to table gambling.

I think it is extremely important to work hard and reward those efforts. After participating in Moot Court, organizing various school events, and taking on a new personal chef role (gotta pay the bills, peeps) – I needed this time to wind down. Unfortunately, there really is no great time to travel during law school. This trip happened three days before midterms – which happened to work out in the most wonderful way. I gambled, then went back to my room and studied: Con Law, Professional Responsibility, Wills, and Property. I took my outlines with me and reviewed on the flight there, and back again. I made sure to study at least two hours, for every 4 hours spent flitting about the city.

These wonderful people kept me on track most of the trip. Melissa managed to wrangle me into the spa for several hours (the nerve, right?! :P) – but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. We walked about 5 miles each day, and indulged in some delicious treats.

The breakfast plates at Hash Hash A Go Go were gigantic, and so yummy!

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Although we did sneak a meal in at Giada’s, I simply was not pleased with their food during this trip. My plate was pretty terrible: soggy waffle, basic plating, and the Crab-cake Benedict was less-than-appetizing. Thankfully, everyone else’s dishes were tasty. Their gluten-free muffins were my favorite addition to their menu.

 

If you have the opportunity to travel, even if for a short period of time – I highly recommend doing so. Take the trip. Eat the cake. Or, in our case – drink the chocolate cake shot. I find that the best things happen when I step just outside of my comfort zone.

Enter: The Chocolate Cake Shot!

IMG_3042

This teensy drink packed a helluvalot of flavor. Never had I tasted such a yummy drink. While in Vegas, I threw back several of these. The bartender at Guy Fieri’s in the Linq knew exactly who we were every time we walked in. #GreatGuy

After many drinks, impromptu dancing, and an amazing massage – we flew back to Dallas, in time for midterms. I approached the week with a rejuvenated feeling and overall sense of calm. I needed this trip, more than I thought. It may seem like a ridiculous stunt to pull before exams, but I enjoyed myself immensely. No regrets.

What are you doing to handle your stress?

 

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Law School

Law School Madness

Learning to find your balance is a struggle, made only more difficult by attempting to reach your happy place, while putting your mind through grueling law school courses. You may find yourself asking “how does everyone make it look so easy?” The best answer I can give you is this – they’re great actors. Let’s be clear – law school is a drama-filled think tank with the best and brightest in their respective classes. Everyone is wound tighter than Shirley Temple curls, and nobody has time to deal with your shit. So trust me when I say that your peers are putting on a façade, to make you feel inferior. It’s an intimidation tactic. What these students are great at is striking a comfortable balance between varying shades of frenzied mayhem, and some are better at it than others.

LawandOrder

Some students excel at being selfish, which is fantastic, because law school is where being all about “Team YOU” comes in handy. Put yourself first. This step in reaching a happy medium is crucial. Your family wants time with you, your boss needs you to focus on the task at hand, your significant other begins to feel neglected, and the people in your life start to get upset because they feel you are tossing them aside. But, what they may not realize is the number of balls you juggle is more than they could handle, more than most anyone could. You made it, gained admission to law school, and now have to bust your derrière to stay here. You will likely work harder than ever before, or you’re truly gifted and don’t have to study at all because you’re brilliant. [On that last bit – I call bullshit. You need to study.]

self-esteem
Finding your balance means you will likely lose a friendship (or more) while working through your legal career. The unrelenting assignments, extra-curricular activities, and study group sessions will consume you – if you let it. I found that the most successful law students are well-rounded, and skilled at balancing their tasks. Taking the time out of your day to work out, read a book, or watch a movie allows your brain to re-set and re-focus on its goals. It is critical to understand when your brain needs to rest, because it is in those moments where you strike the perfect balance between your studies and passions. Otherwise, you’re going to burn out. I experienced true burn-out after my 3rd final during our first semester of 1L year. I walked out of the exam, took a few minutes to grab a coffee, and sat back down at my computer to read through notes. I must have read the same sentence 3o times before realizing I’d shut down. There was simply no energy left to process anything. So I packed up my crap, trekked to the parking garage, and drove myself to a movie theater. You have to know when to throw in the towel, because breaks are part of that school-life balance.

shambles

During my 1L year, I felt flustered because there were so many panicked voices in the halls – all trying to figure out how to study, when to study, how to brief, should they brief, is the assignment actually graded, is it ok to take a lunch break? The tension was palpable, and I simply could not be around it. Realizing my own stress-level rising reminded me that I needed to step away from it all for just an hour a day.

understand

When I need for the questions or worries of my day to fade away, I turn to running. I run at least two miles to clear my head, three times a week. On top of running, I choose to rock-climb. It is essential to have my brain focus on my feet hitting the pavement, or finding the next hand-hold on a wall. My balance involves shutting the world out to let in my inner-peace.

I strongly recommend you find your balance, whatever makes you happy and re-centers you, before the semester begins. Make sure to make time for yourself, every single day. If you are in a positive place, then studying will be easier and you’ll grasp the concepts quickly. However, an angry or frustrated mindset will likely land you in a crap-tastic mood and that’s a recipe for failure. Always re-focus.

nap

 

Categories
Law School

Law School Depression: Grades & Guidance

hell
Law School is ROUGH but – you’ve GOT this.

THIS read made me realize how lucky I am. This semester has been grueling (more-so than last semester) for many reasons – but not one of those reasons stems from feeling alone. In fact, for my wonderful classmates who read this blog (and for those peers far and wide going through the same law school struggle) please know there are resources available for you. Talk to student services at your school. Reach out to TLAP, or the appropriate lawyer assistance program in your state. There is a support system waiting to help you – all you have to do, is call.

 

exhausted

 

Law school is hard, breaks you down, and makes you question your life-plan. That’s right – it’s not just you! Everything is harder for you. Before law school, you were a great writer, logical thinker, skilled speaker. Then, the world crumbled beneath your feet and you probably feel like nothing you do is right.
Give law school your best effort. Your grades are important, sure, but they do NOT define you. The sum of your cumulative experiences matters more. Yes, you should strive to earn high marks, but sacrificing your health is not an option.

Just know – you are better than you give yourself credit for!
We all feel shaken, battered, and a little worse for wear.
You are not alone.

I cannot speak directly for my campus, but I can say they have provided multiple opportunities for us to reach out to them. Our professors and campus staff have done a great job explaining how our Texas Bar resources apply to law students. They opened the channels for us to discuss good ways to deal with stress, rather than the stereotypical (and, quite frankly, more common) substance abuse methods used by attorneys and law students across the country.

I deal with stress in these healthy ways:
– Bake for my family and classmates
– Sing in the shower
– Run a mile (or two) while listening to music
– Work Out
– Dance It Out
– Scream into a pillow

Okay…maybe the last one is not the greatest, but it’s certainly not destructive. Sometimes a good ARGHHHHHHH does the body good.

Find something that works for you. Relaxing, cooking, dancing….anything that could help you relieve stress in a healthy way – find your stress relief.
If you need to talk to someone, PLEASE DO.